Ok, I assume I will get a lot of flak for this post. I’m writing it anyway, because I have no filter, and it’s a legitimate problem that doesn’t get addressed. So here it is.
We all know there is a large “body positive” movement happening. Embrace your size. Love yourself the way you are.
That’s great! However, the problem is that it is centered around women supporting other full-figured women and not women who are thin. In fact, most of these articles or famous Instagram pages you see floating around all focus on women being beautiful because they AREN’T a size zero.
I’m sure most of you are rolling your eyes right now. But I’ll continue anyway.
I’m a size zero.
No, I don’t starve myself. Yes, I work out. And surprise! I’m healthy.
Over the years I have heard many insulting things. People say them trying to be funny, but let me be the first to tell you, it is not. Not even a little bit.
One time, I was eating a salad and someone said “Oh, THAT’S how you stay so skinny.” Another time, I was eating a burger with fries and someone said “Wow, must be nice to eat whatever you want.” Not sure how to win on this one.
Speaking of burgers, I was at my local gym once in California, and there was this super ripped chick that always worked out at the same time as me, and I secretly idolized her. One day I was working out next to her and she said “Wow girl you are tiny, you need to eat a burger.” I literally cried on my drive home.
Let me put this in perspective. It’s socially acceptable to tell someone you find too skinny that they need to eat, but if someone is overweight it’s NOT okay to tell them to STOP eating. Got it.
Society seems to think commenting on thin bodies is some sort of compliment. I’m frequently ‘thin shamed’ by people who think they are paying me some kind of inverse compliment by telling me that they hate me because of how I look. Um, thanks?
Can we all just agree that commenting on someone’s body is never okay? It’s especially harmful to the individuals who are still becoming comfortable in their own skin. If someone is self-conscious about something, making cruel jokes at them will only validate their own negative feelings.
And these words hurt. They hurt me so much over the years that I made the decision to start lifting weights. I remember someone saying “Oh geez, why are you going to the gym, you don’t need to lose weight.” Come on people.
So, I started saying, “To lift weights so I’m not just another skinny twig bitch.” Verbatim. I’ve also had complete strangers put their arms around my waist while saying “You’re sooo small!” Word to the wise: don’t put your hands on a stranger. No one likes that.
I also happen to love running. This is not in an attempt to lose weight, contrary to rude comments people have thrown at me, but It’s something I genuinely enjoy. So, let me enjoy it dammit.
The other issue is finding clothing that actually fit me right. I’ve actually purchased bottoms in the little girl’s section before but I was too embarrassed to take the item to the dressing room to try it on.
When it came time for me to find a dress for my wedding, no stores carried my size. In fact, I asked one store worker if they carried size zero. She looked me up and down while mumbling something under their breath and said, “Uh, no.” You can call it a super first-world, stupid problem to have, but it’s a problem. And being rude to someone about it doesn’t help.
It’s taken me a very long time to feel comfortable with my body due to the narrow-minded comments I have heard my entire life, but I will tell you this: I am comfortable with my size. I am happy just the way I am. When I hear these comments now, I don’t even think twice about it.
This also means that phrases like, “Real women have curves,” or “She needs to eat a cheeseburger,” need to go in the shitter.
The definition of a “real woman” has nothing to do with her size or physical appearance. Real women recognize other women’s worth along with their own, no matter what size they are.
They eat cheeseburgers, they work out, they are naturally slim, they are voluptuous, they are plus-size, and they love themselves. They have integrity, they are strong, they are kind to others, but most of all, they absolutely never make snide comments about the body type of another woman in order to feel better about themselves.